Speaking with children about death

Sometimes it feels too difficult to speak with children about death. As parents we spend our life protecting them but when someone they love has died, we can’t protect them in the way we wish we could. Those painful feelings are suddenly their reality just as they are for adults. We can however, support how they grieve for that person.

Giving them choice about whether they go to the funeral or even playing a small part in the funeral can have a positive impact on their grief. These are just a few small ways in which they could be involved but they go along way to support children going forward into adulthood. Children often have some incredible ideas too that could really personalise a ceremony creating memories to cherish.

  • Choosing the font or colour for the order of service
  • Placing order of service on the chairs
  • Lighting of a candle
  • Helping set up a memorial table
  • Reading a poem or a piece from a story book which was read to them
  • Choose a song
  • Playing a musical instrument

The families I work with will always have full choice as to whether to involve their children. If they feel it’s right, then I’m here to support that and hopefully ease the pressure through those conversations.